Superha’s Speculations

Baby, You Can Drive My Car

Life with Ashley has actually settled into a nice predictable
routine.  It’s not set in stone, but at least it’s not as erratic
as it had been in the early stages.  For nearly three months of
Ashley’s life, we couldn’t go anywhere.  Little Miss Ashley would
cry at the top of her lungs whenever I strapped her into her car
carrier and tried to run an errand.  So, we were relegated to only
meeting up with Ben for lunch a few times a week which was a 7 minute
drive with 7 minutes of baby screams.  The poor thing would cry so
hard that you’d hear silence for a while and think "Hey, maybe she
stopped crying".  But, nooooo.  Ashley was merely taking a
deep breath so she could vent her frustrations even more.

Now, life is much better.  My college friend Judy said that a
remote controlled musical toy made her son enjoy car rides more so I
went and bought that toy the very same day.  Ashley has been great
ever since.  She still gets antsy every once in a while, but then
I stick my arm back there and jiggle her "Mr. Orange" toy.  That seems to hold her attention for a while.

It’s nice to be able to go shopping or meet a friend for breakfast like
I used to.  Now, I never have to run errands alone.  I try to
talk to our little chubby one and include her in my daily
activities.  I even read the paper to her in my "news"
voice.  She’s such a great listener.  The days are so much
more fun when you experience the world from the vantage point of your
baby.  Now, if I can
just get her to nap in the daytime…

Color Me Happy

Last weekend, Ben, Ashley, and I went to Costco.  That’s when I
spotted an artist’s easel and paint set.  I knew I really wanted
it so that I could finally paint a Superman shield for Ashley’s new
room.  I’ve actually wanted to do something artistic ever since
college… not a work of art mind you, just something that allows me to
be creative and have fun.  I never set out to be an artist.
My Dad, sis, and brother are the artists in our family.  My Mom
and I just appreciate it.    After 5 hours of work, I was pretty happy with the outcome.

Half an hour of it was sketching out the shield.  Harder to do
than it looks.  I must’ve erased the pencil lines a hundred
times.  After that, I decided to mix some white and red paint to
make pink for the shield’s backdrop.  I made the mistake of doing
equal parts white and red.  I ended up painting the background
coral.  I was going to go with it, but then Ben pointed out that
an orange painting was going to look very strange in Ashley’s pink
room.  So, I mixed more paint and eventually made pink.  I
went through many tubes of watercolor, acrylic, and oil based paints to
achieve the right background look.  I didn’t think it was apropos
to use three different kinds of paint in one project, but I did some
reading on the craft and it’s apparently considered a mixed-media
portrait.  Yay!  It was fun experimenting with the different
textures and properties of the paint.  I feel artistically
fulfilled for now.  I’ve never painted before, but I’d love to try
again sometime soon. 

Through the Eyes of Love

It’s been a very long time since my last entry.  It’s tough finding time to write in my blog these days.  But, each day has been so amazing… just watching Ashley grow and thrive.  She’s one big baby now.  Once in a while, I’ll look at her and tell her that it’s a pleasure to take care of her and to be her Mom.  I truly feel blessed to have been given the honor to love and care for her. 

One of the most beautiful things about babies is how wonderfully unprejudiced they are.  They don’t care if you’re having a bad hair day or that you just had onions.  They love you no matter what you look like, smell like, or sound like.  I know that a kiss from Mommy always brightens up Ashley’s day even if I didn’t get a chance to brush my teeth after shrimp fajitas.  And for that matter, I don’t mind kissing her after she’s had a little spit-up from too much "lunch".  Okay, by now some of you who’ve never had a baby are thinking "too much information, Neen".  Can’t blame you.  Spit-up talk and diaper discussions never interested me before.  Now, I can write a book on those topics.

Speaking of diapers, the thing about babies is that they love a clean canvas.  You can change their diaper after they’ve just peed and they’ll do it again just because they can.   Also,  for  a few weeks, Ashley was  fond of peeing in the bathtub after she got in to bathe with me.  But, it’s no fun bathing with baby pee in the water no matter how cute I think it is. 

And now that I’m a mom, I realize just how much they worry.  For instance, if Ashley is awake, I worry that she’s tired and needs to sleep.  If she’s asleep, I worry that she’s not breathing or I worry about SIDS.  So, I check her every few minutes to make sure that all is well in dreamland.  When I was pregnant, I worried about whether everything was okay for the delivery.  Now that she’s here… a whole new set of worries.  I’m sure it’ll carry over to her teenage years when she’s out on a date and even when she’s married and has kids of her own.  It’s so instinctual to worry about her well being.  I’m sure this is what my Mom went through with her two daughters and son. 

I gotta admit that I get tired sometimes when Ashley’s so active that she won’t nap, but then when she does, I realize that I miss her.  This crazy thing called parenthood… it’s exhausting and yet I love it.

Milk Talk and Fake-Out Sneezes

I’m convinced that our daughter looks like a kitty cat when she yawns… precious.

The Baby Who Saw You Naked But Then Got Really Sleepy

Ashley has the "Moro Reflex" pretty bad.  The poor thing feels like she’s going to fall pretty much every time she hears a loud sound or when she’s startled which is like every two seconds.  So, her two hands go up in the air.  Ben likes to make fun of her by asking her "So Ashley, how big was that fish you caught the other day?  Oh, it was this big?  Wow, that’s big".

"It was this big, I swear!"

Junior (we still call her that even though she’s not really Junior anymore) is such a good eater.  She’s on "da boob" all day.  She’s a little sucking monster, especially when she’s really hungry and then she does this crazy, erratic hungry nipple searching thing.  But, it’s so satisfying to see her enjoying her meals and to know that I’m her source of food.  Babies have no qualms about expressing their enjoyment the way adults do.  They unabashedly show how much they love breast milk by sucking like crazy.  The funniest part to me is when she hungrily latches on to my breast and then looks like she’s enjoying the world’s best tasting milk.  Her eyes close and then they actually roll to the back of her head.  She’s in ecstasy… a milky, drunk ecstasy.  She also likes to drink and complain at the same time.  My sister’s kids did it and now ours is doing it.  It’s pretty funny to hear her try to grunt and eat at the same time.  Also, she tried to nurse on my shoulder yesterday because I held her over my shoulder.  It’s hilarious to see her searching around my shirt for a nipple with her little mouth.  Riot, riot!

But, I love seeing her hunger quenched and her needs met by sucking on her mommy.  I feel so proud that I can provide something that makes her so happy.  She sometimes smiles at me while she’s nibbling.  It’s pure joy.  Oh yeah, and she sometimes falls asleep while eating.  Once in a while, I won’t notice until I look down and see that her face is covered in milk.  That prompted Ben to make up the milk mouth song.  It goes "Milk mouth, milk mouth.  Somebody’s got a milk mouth and that’s you."  Ashley likes it when we sing that to her. 

By the way, did you know that milk comes out of a bunch of different areas in the areola and nipple?  I thought there was this one giant hole, but I guess you learn something new every day.  And, just when you thought your boobs couldn’t get any bigger after being pregnant, wait until you start breastfeeding.  Jenny McCarthy weighed hers when she was pregnant and they weighed 5 pounds each.  But, I don’t think I’ll be putting mine on a scale any time soon.

Despite all the wonderful things about breastfeeding, it isn’t all a bed of roses (speaking of which, the movie "Bed of Roses" with Christian Slater and Mary Stuart Masterson sucked hard core - it was sooo bad that it sucked harder than getting wet at an amusement park on a cold day).  The first few days for me was very painful.  I guess no one ever thinks to themselves "Hmmm… I wonder what it would be like to have a little person gum my breasts to death.  Wouldn’t that be fun?"  You’ll never know the pain unless you’ve had to go through it.  It was nothing compared to child birth, though.  Nothing compares to the pain of passing a noggin through your nether regions.

Ashley’s getting so big so fast.  Her umbilical stump fell off almost a month ago.  We now call her "Chubby" since she has a quadruple chin after putting on a few pounds after birth.  She’s pretty cute.  Since she was born, she’s been a triple sneezer like me.  But, she does great, big, loud sneezes like Ben.  She’ll sneeze once, twice, and then she’ll start the sneeze, but then it peters out.  It’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.  We’re trying to get that on tape.  But in the meantime, we can’t wait to see what she’ll do next.

A Whole New World

Welcome to my new blog site.  I just imported all the entries from xanga.com to this friendster site.  I’m pretty excited about it.  It’s nice to have a place to wax philosophic or just let my thoughts run free.

Where to begin?  Life has been pretty exciting, exhausting, and exhilarating lately (wow, look at my use of alliteration).  On April 22nd, 2005, Ashley Lauren Ha came into our lives at 6:16pm.  She weighed 7 pounds 12 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches (FYI: I was born 7 lbs. 7 oz. and 21").  It was the most incredible experience I’ve ever been a part of.  She was so beautiful and delicate.  I couldn’t believe she was really ours.

You may have heard stories from Moms who either gave birth naturally because it’s the only way to go or with an epidural because it’s God’s gift to women.  My story is a combination of both.  Throughout my pregnancy, I had planned on getting an epidural because I didn’t want to feel a thing.  I really wanted to be handed a child upon entering the hospital and then sent home without losing a drop of blood.  That didn’t happen.  Here’s my labor and delivery story:

It was a stormy afternoon in Bakersfield.  I had seen dust storms like these only two other times since moving here in December of 2003.  Ben and I met for lunch at Me & Ed’s Pizza Restaurant.  All morning long, I had felt a good amount of pressure down there.  I mentioned to Ben that perhaps the baby’s head had descended even more.  He said "This could be the day".  Little did we know just how right he was.  After I got home, I decided to take a nap.  It was about 1 pm. 

After about half an hour or so, I realized that I couldn’t sleep because I was in pain.  I wasn’t able to sleep through the contractions I was having.  I started timing them and they were a bit erratic.  They went from 16 to 12 to 4 to 10 minutes apart.  So, I called Ben and told him I might be going into labor but that my contractions weren’t in a steady pattern yet.  Then, I called my Mom and she said "Your contractions are 4 minutes apart and you’ve got the bloody show?  Call Ben right now!".  So, I paged him.  Then, he left all his patients, came home, took a shower and asked if I wanted to "hang out" at home for an hour or so before heading to the hospital.  By now, I was totally in pain so I said "No, I think we need to go NOW".  On the way there, the contractions intensified. 

We checked in around 3:30pm.  Ashley was born less than 3 hours later.  But I’m getting ahead of myself here.  When we arrived at the hospital, I was already 6cm dilated.  They asked if I wanted an epidural so I said "heck yeah".  They hooked me up to an IV drip and proceeded to put some fluid in my system.  They said it would take about 40 minutes.  When the 40 minutes were up, the anesthesiologist got there and was about to shoot me full of drugs when Ben asked that they check my cervix again.  By then, I was 9 1/2 cm dilated.  Apparently, the baby is ready to come out of a mom when she’s about 10 cm dilated.  I couldn’t believe my dumb luck that I was only half a centimeter away from pushing the baby out.  The anesthesiologist was still willing to give me an epidural, but I decided that I would try to go without.  Sounds brave, but then I cried and sobbed in fear that I couldn’t handle the pain of a natural childbirth.

But, after only pushing hard for about 20 minutes, our daughter was born.  I actually got to see the whole thing because they set up a mirror for me.  Pretty weird.  Ben had said that he could see a whole head of hair and that’s when I decided I wanted to see the action, too.  It motivated me to push harder.  Apparently, I was pushing so hard that I had burst all the capillaries in my face.  Afterwards, my face was red and splotchy everywhere.

Ben was so sweet throughtout the whole process.  He asked if I wanted him to set up the iPod so I could listen to music, he tried to give me a nice massage, and he tried to talk to me, but all I could muster through the contractions was "Don’t touch me".  Poor guy.  He was trying to be so helpful.  All the magazines, mp3’s, and portable DVD’s that I brought to the birthing center were never used since the labor went so quickly.  Who knew?

But, the best part of the entire ordeal is when they put the baby on your belly and you get to touch her for the first time.  I was overwhelmed by how beautiful she was and I couldn’t help but cry after seeing the miracle that was before me.  When I looked at Ben, I saw that he was also crying.  In that instant, our lives were forever changed.

So, there you have it.  My birth story.  In all honesty, the process wasn’t quite as bad as everyone says it is.  But don’t get me wrong, it was still bad… very, very bad.  So, I might just wimp out with our second baby and go with the epidural the next time.  But who knows, I may not have time to afford that luxury.

Now, Ben and I just stare at her each day and wonder who she looks like more.  Ben holds her and says "Ashley looks soooo cute today".  I have to remind him that he says it pretty much every day.  We are so lucky and blessed to have this little angel in our lives.  After reading Ashley her horoscope for nine months in my womb, I now read it to her in person.  And to me, every day is a five star day.

Bring It On

This is me at 39 weeks of pregnancy with our little guy or girl who
really likes it in my womb.
It’s so comfy in there that it doesn’t want to leave.  A week ago, we
weren’t quite ready to say goodbye to our life as a married couple with
no baby.  But now, we’re ready for our munchkin to come join us on the
outside.  We can’t wait to meet Junior or Juniorette.  So, we’re trying
everything to set the labor process in motion.  And for what I mean by
"everything", you can check out babycenter.com for all the ways couples
can go into labor at home… or you can just use your imagination. 

Oh yeah, this past week, Ben and I also bought a house.  Tada.  We
looked at it for the first time last Friday and by Sunday night, it was
ours.  We close escrow in about a month.  It has some similarities with
our current home, but it’s definitely a nice upgrade.  I think it’s a smart investment for our future.

Nina, 39 Weeks "You Ready Yet, Junior?"

Our New Home on Mountaingate Lane

The above picture of us was taken last night at the home of our
friends the Oliviers.  They really like the Kennedys.  The four photos below that one shows the exterior of the new house, the
dining room, the kitchen, and the master bathroom (again with the
fireplace right by the garden tub).  We’ll probably move in about a
month or two.  It’s actually just down the street and it will make
Ben’s commute about one minute shorter.  Yay!  We’re going to keep our
current home on Mirage Drive and perhaps rent it out.  I still love our
house.  There’s something special about that first home.  But, the new
one is about an extra thousand square feet so our family will have more
room.

I finally got over my crazy cough so I’m pretty happy about that.  I
didn’t want to give birth to a baby and then get it sick, too.  Ben and
I went to our last visit with Dr. Cheung on Wednesday (she’s leaving
for a vacation to China tomorrow so I guess another doc will be doing
the delivery).  Based on the scale at the hospital, I weigh 183 pounds
- only 6 pounds less than my 6 foot tall husband!  Doh.  Anyway, we saw
Junior on the ultrasound machine and he or she is still looking happy and
healthy.  Dr. Cheung measured me at about 3cm dilated and 80 percent
effaced.  That means I’m pretty much ready to go at any time.  But, our
friend says that the baby won’t come out if it’s not the baby’s
birthday.  I guess that makes sense.

Here’s
another sign that it’s time to have this baby.  The other day, I was
washing dishes when Ben walked by and started laughing.  He noticed
that I couldn’t even stand by the sink without having to lean in to do
the dishes since my belly sticks so far out.  Also, I often find myself
closing a door or walking by a chair and incorrectly estimating the
distance I need for clearance.  So, my poor belly runs into chairs and
gets bumped by doors from time to time.

One crazy thing about this weekend is that William Hung of American
Idol notoriety will be in Bakersfield at a car dealership "singing" his
rendition of "She Bangs".  If we don’t go into labor tonight, I
guess
Ben and I will be there and take pictures with the guy.  We’ll
keep you
posted.  Some people baptize their babies, ours will be blessed by
William Hung.  But, we’ll do our best and have no regrets…

Since this might be my last posting before I become a sleep-deprived
Mommy, I thought I’d mention the whole "First Ultrasound Visit"
thing.  Early on in the pregnancy (about 19 weeks or so), you get
a chance to see your little baby via ultrasound.  Since it’s
usually the first time the expecting parents get to see their kid,
they’re super excited about it.  They tell the Mom to drink about
32 - 48 ounces of water an hour before the exam.  That way, the
sonogram will be more vivid since it’s a process of using ultrasonic
waves to "see" the baby. 

I was very ambitious that morning.  I figured that the more water
in my belly, the better we could see our little one.  So, I went
for the 48 ounces of fluid instead of the 32.  That’s like
drinking a 7 Eleven Big Gulp.  But that’s not even the bad
part.  After having consumed the big thing, you’re expected to
hold it in for an hour until they’re done with the exam.  So,
you’re a big, chubby pregnant woman with a full bladder sitting in the
waiting room for a long time until they call for you.  Then,
you’re expected to change into a backless hospital gown while you’re
trying not to pee on their clean floors.  Then, as you lie there,
the lab tech starts to move the ultrasound device around your belly,
pressing hard the whole time.  Your adorable partner stares in
wonder at the sight of your unborn baby and the whole time, you just
want to pee.  You try to think sweet, baby thoughts and be excited
about the kid, but the whole time… you just want to pee.  Did I
mention that you totally want to pee during your first
ultrasound?  Anyway, just had to get that out there for all the
pregnant women who had no idea about their first ultrasound
experience.  Peace out, Xangans.  Our next post could contain
pictures of Baby Ha.